When my thoughts bring me down.

Why do I keep asking myself questions I will never get answers to? Why do I someone find a way to blame myself for this? Why do I replay the moment over and over again in my head when I learned that my baby was dead? Why can't I just shut down my brain to anything besides the good? Why do I have to have dreams that make me wake up and search for a baby that I don't have? Why did I get pregnant when I wasn't supposed to and hear over and over again that this baby was "meant to be" and must be a miracle only to have that special baby ripped away from me? Why does everyone else get to move on with their lives and be happy and I have to relive my tragedy day after day? Why do people that don't love and appreciate the children they have get to have more babies and I don't? I pray to God to give me peace. I don't need these answers I just need to stop thinking about the questions. God has a plan but this isn't anything like I thought it would be.