I ran today...

Another angel momma who is a runner told me a few weeks ago that she found out it was possible to cry while running.

Today I ran for the first time and found out that she was right. I was about to hit my first solid mile and for some reason out loud I said "WTF."

At that moment I was so mad. I was mad that I was running because there is NO way I would have been running at fives weeks after having a baby if that baby were still here. So of course I started to think about what I would be doing if Ellie had not of passed away and the anger turned into tears.

I remember when I started running after I had Sam. It was tricky to work out because of breast feeding.  I had to make sure and nurse him before I wanted to work out then you have to deal with the tight bras and all that madness. It didn't even try running until he was almost six months old and then I could barely go .25 miles without dying! Well today, at not even six weeks post partum I ran 1.25 miles without stopping and then walked/jogged .75 more after that.

It was a huge relief of negative energy. I was still mad and sad that I was doing it but I did feel better after. Like I have told many people if I have made it through so much physical and mental pain so far there is nothing I can't do. So today I signed up for two 5ks in July. I can't wait to see what I can do physically especially with my little angel cheering me on.